Jewels in my crown

STAL

STAL:

Sir Thinks A Lot. Name could also mean Sir Talks A Lot, or on a off day

Sir Toots A Lot…just depending.

My Prince can best be summed up by three words:
Love. Love. Love.
This prince aspires to become the president of the United States if for no other reason so that he can have the world's undivded attention when he speaks. His mind holds more memory than a computer and his thin pencil legs
carry him faster than a speeding steed. This prince is low matinence and only asks of his family the finer pleasures in life; to be drop into a vat of chocolate and if that's not available, to be given a horses salt bar to be licked at random intervals throughout his day.
Passionate about politics, family, and his oversized bathrobe that makes him look alot like Hugh Hefner ~ which brings to mind another passion he entertains....
Never the less.. STAL is my anchor who has secured me firmly to the ground. When he was diagnosed at age 8 with
Aspergers syndrome, my intial reaction was to stomp my glass slippers while looking up at the heavens and shaking my fist asking “why King??????!!! Why did you give me a child who would always NEED me so much? In case you’ve forgotten, I’m a single mom, I’m going it alone
~ remember????”
But then I shut up and over night, I grew up when the king
said in his booming loud voice “look Queenie, maybe it is YOU who needs him!”


I shut my beak.

Princess Baby Cakes

                                           PBC

I will be forever

convinced long after I’m gone and my body is dug up to be studied by some

overzealous archeological pimply 19 year old, that he will not be able to determine

the exact reason why the hip bone on my left side is permently caved in. He may go out on a limb and suggest it was

because I was run down by some evil sorreress and flattened by her carriage or

perhaps I was born with some weird birth defect; maybe even a wound I acquired

because I was vain and wore my petticoats too tight. In reality, they will never know the truth

unless they know me and the lump of sugar I carried around for a good three

years.

With the eyes as blue as the ocean up under the Alaskin ice,

Princess Baby Cakes serves as my life consulation prize for enduring yet

surviving the fall from a second failed marriage. With the loyality of a St. Bernard, (momma

you don’t need to get remarried… ever!...you won't grow old alone rotting and

melting into the floor, we will come visit you…sometimes.) Sometimes? Gee thanks, babe. My Princess was born with a true inner

kindness. Think Mother Teresa. (Momma,

you know I would never want to hurt your feelings, but I feel like I should

tell you something: I don’t think you’re stretch mark cream is working AT

ALL! You’ve still got those lightening

bolts all the way around your waiste and oops!!! Look here, I think there’s a

new one!! Look momma, see it? It’s purple right now, but don’t you worry,

it will fade like all the others.”

Lastly, my sweet bundle of sugar carries always with her a special inherited

gift straight down the lines from her very own momma….a bonafied true blue

ghetto bootie. (Think J Lo.) Yep, my lil Princess Baby Cakes has been and

always will be a present dropped down straight from the king to his lil

princess; my very own live barbie doll.

Aka: Princess Baby Cakes.

Princess Pandora:

After her Prince Charming (turned Prince Alarming) dumps Princess Pandora, their 17 year marriage, his four children, an $800,000 castle and a mound of debt, this princess had to make a plan. 

Plan A: Six weeks after divorce 1 is final, jump on the rebound train and get re married to Sir Whines Too Much proving to Prince Alarming than he has made huge mistake.

Plan A: a bust.

Plan B: Once a devastated lost princess in a scarey and unfamiliar land, Princess Pandora turns her life around: After loosing all of her alimony ~ It was a fat wad of bills ~ P.P. knew she had to make a choice.  She could be two kinds of princesses:

1. Be the ‘has been’ Princess in Kroger with dirty hair and knotted dreadlocks, 3 day old smeared mascara, mismatched bedroom slippers and dragging behind her a rolling wine box IV, all while looking for the ‘arsenic aisle.’

Or….

2. Roll up those Prada sleeves, kick off those Jimmy Choo's and return to college becoming a sensual scholar who returns to her first love ~ school. There, she’ll earn a master’s degree in teaching, travel to Greece, meeting exotic people; making lifelong friends, and consequently become the Queen of her castle and her life.

Plan B: P.P. chose the latter….Success!!!

The Matriarch:

The Queen Mum lives with the strict code of living out The Golden Rule….the one with the gold rules. 

Any questions?

The matriarch has thrown patriarchy out the castles window and is living proof that a woman can be a fearless leader and provider. The Queen Mum never met a steed she couldn’t ride, break and compete with; she won just about every horse show she ever entered.  Not one to tie herself down to just one Prince Charming – the Matriarch washed the whiskers from her sink basin one last time 30 years ago and vowed never to remarry…. unless of course, he was Jesus Christ in a confederate uniform…

Prince of kindness:

Six years younger and a thousand years calmer than his elder idiot sister, the Prince Of Kindness has no arch enemies standing at his front gates.

His daily duties include:

Chasing down faulty tenets that leave items like this as payment:

Married to Lady Beth of Wilmington Island going on seven years now, POK enchants his kingdom while restoring their newly bought ‘fixer upper’ castle; which comes with its own set of problems that any neglected castle may have ~
Crumbling ceilings ~ Hey watch out!!! There’s a big chunk of plaster coming straight for you!

Sparks shooting from electrical outlets (AHHH, Daddy is so funny, see how fast he runs from our inside fireworks show?!!!!) and
Sewer pipes bursting in the dining room walls; (look!!! Daddy made us our own water fall to play in while we eat Thanksgiving dinner!)   

After a long hard day at the battlefield, his gentle nature shines thru as he strums his red bass guitar and charms his two squire, Sir Sweet and Squishy and their lil Princess ~ Princess Love Bug sit as his feet….chewing on his shoe laces.

 

Lady Beth:

 

Raised on the coastal waters of Savannah, Georgia, Lady Beth gave up her apples, rulers and a dusty chalkboard to maintain the family castle. Standing no more than 4 feet tall; (she's an itty bitty lil thang,) her duties now include:

tending to Sir Sweet and Squishy,

Chasing down wild child Princess Love Bug,

Cooking up the bacon for her man, 

and directing the unruly painters/carpenters/neighbors that are total freaks~

that are still lingering around and finishing up with final touches.